Fuuko
Amateur Otaku
"Destiny awaits no one"
Posts: 96
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Post by Fuuko on May 24, 2003 9:20:22 GMT -5
I just got this friendship problem this afternoon. It's kinda long and yeah... I hope you guys won't go babbling out of the blue because of this complicated prob *grins*.
It started out a few days ago, when we decided to go out together on the mall to watch X2. A friend of mine, A, was desperately in need to watch the movie for some reason, so she's been craving about this plan everyday! *sweatdrop*.
Anyways, we should be going to the mall around lunch or so but sadly, two of our friends couldn't go with us because of personal errands. So yeah, it's only the two of us now. And she encouraged me to go out together with her.
Here's the conversation: (on the phone *hint hint*)
Me: So? What are we going to do now? A: Let's go together then! There's no better thing we could to... Me: Only the two of us? A: Yeah Me: I don't think if I can cause... I don't usually go out with just one person... A: Why? Me: I dunno, it just felt eerie when I'm going out with only one person. A: Really? I go out with B the other day and we had tones of fun! Me: Well, things aren't going the same with me! A: What? You don't like it if you're stuck together with me? Me: It's not that! I just don't like it if I'm hanging out with only one person! A: So? Me: Let's just... forget about today's meeting... A: But I really wanna watch that movie! Me: I know! But we can do it next week, rite? A: Fine, have it your way! Me: Sorry... A: *closed the phone*
*B: another friend
I've consult with my friends and they said that A is a bit naive and can't stand when things are going on her way. She's also half Japanese so her personality's more... Japanese-like than us. Most boys hated her for some reason. From a small prob, she just likes to make it bigger.
So... who's wrong? me or her?
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Post by Archangel_Dream on May 24, 2003 9:32:41 GMT -5
Oh man... Maybe you'd better take her aside and talk to her sensibly about this...I mean, you tell her that FRIENDS should be of more importance than just some stupid movie (Believe me, I wasn't entirely impressed watching that)!! Um...maybe not a little too angry... Or maybe she just doesn't understand how you could not stand being with her. Maybe she was just a tad insulted, and through insecurities, she just took the prob a little harder. So talking's the best way! Maybe if you tell her you really want your friendship with her and tell what you feel, maybe she'll start taking things with a clear head. And just so she's Jap, doesn't mean she has to go overboard. I know a Jap and HE is just as conventional as any of us. She shouldn't follow the general rule of anime. ;D Er...sorry if I'm confusing. ^^;;
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Post by Garnet17th on May 24, 2003 19:10:20 GMT -5
well I think A hasn't got used to "the world doesn't work around her " thingy. Shje would probebly want every thing her way. Unless she has a very good excuse to see X2 in a hurry, I'd say you did the right thing
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Post by MaCeR on May 24, 2003 21:57:21 GMT -5
urgh that sounds exactly like my friend.. doesn't go his way and he says fine then hangs up or doesn't talk... try talking to her about it once but if she's like my friend the best thing is just to let her cool off by herself... my friend is always back to normal the next day
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Post by Archangel_Dream on May 25, 2003 1:07:31 GMT -5
That's true...but if that sorta cycle continues, then you'd better take action. Like gently tell your friend what Garnet-san said: "The world doesn't revolve around you" ^^ Ppl who take things exaggeratingly like you said about her are usually those who have insecurities (what an echo), so maybe you shouldn't be so hard on her. If that doesn't work, go straight to the point and tell to her face what you EXACTLY feel. To have friends you have to be honest...ryt? Ugh...I'm going in circles...
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Post by M-Chan on May 25, 2003 1:22:13 GMT -5
ugh... i think your friend sorta took the situation and turned it into a bigger one.. which it really wasn't and yes "the world doesn't revolve around her" she can't always get her way, and i guess she's not mature enough to see that point yet... but then again, it could be misunderstandings on both sides, jus talk to her, and maybe you'll get through... before you do anything talk to her and understand both perspectives first.
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Post by Archangel_Dream on May 25, 2003 2:40:23 GMT -5
*nod nod*
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Fuuko
Amateur Otaku
"Destiny awaits no one"
Posts: 96
|
Post by Fuuko on May 25, 2003 3:59:48 GMT -5
YES! She wants the world to revolve around her! At least, that's how I think. Whenever a guy's acting not-the-way-she-want-to, she gets pissed and say, "What's wrong with you people!?". And yeah, whenever there's a problem, she took it seriously (I've bold it, which means VERY), meaning that she's a lot more sensitive than me.
Actually, me and friends have thought that she's pretty immature when a problem gets into her. And most of the times, she can't handle as much as we do. Then again, many people dislike her personality, including us.
Well, we would LOVE to talk about it but yeah... you know how she is, taking problems seriously and always misunderstood something that she hates someone (though s/he is innocent). Now she misunderstood me, thinking that I hate being around her and all! We were about to talk about it but afraid of being misunderstood by her.
Then again, I think she desperately needs a good adaptation from her Jap-related-stuff to her new environment around us. But she's acting otherwise. Wants people to adaptate with her and all... plus, she's so proud of being a Japanese that she always mention everything in Japanese (no offense here), which is kinda... show-off... *sweatdrop*.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I don't think she has a good reason to watch X2. She just said that she's afraid that the movie's gonna be taken off by next week and blablabla, though actually she haven't watched the first one *popeyed*.
Hope that I'm not confusing everyone... ^__^
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Post by Archangel_Dream on May 25, 2003 7:19:36 GMT -5
Oh great. She's risking your so-called friendship for a crappy MOVIE that won't even stick by her in times of trouble! I'm impressed at you Fuuko-san, taking time to worry for her. ;D The best way to talk to someone is to BE in her level. I say you say it direct to the point then! Tell her "Excuse me, Ms. I'm-so-cool! You're not in Japan anymore! So don't expect ppl to bow down b4 you because YOU'RE the foreigner here, not us! Did you even know you're the outcast here?! You're alone without us, for Heaven's sake! We are doing this because we're your FRIEND and we care for you. Honestly, we think you're taking things TOO much! And if you don't stop, you're gonna end up with the whole school mad at you--including us! Don't wait for THAT to happen!" Hehehe, sorry if I got bitchy this time. If I were there, I would have kicked her butt or something. That's just the way I am...sorry! Anyway, good luck! (why don't you make her read this thread? She'll be so shocked at what's written here! ;D)
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Fuuko
Amateur Otaku
"Destiny awaits no one"
Posts: 96
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Post by Fuuko on May 25, 2003 7:52:00 GMT -5
I would LOVE to say that. Of course not as bitchy as that *grins*. But yeah... she's very sensitive but everyone dislikes her. So she might change herself alone.
But you know, she is annoying.
Like... whenever I'm talking with a crush of mine *cough*. She's always bothering me, kicking, elbowing, blabla... those childish acts. I mean like, if she's always kidding me, how will I get serious on talking to God-knows-who? Same goes for my friends, they also complain to her about that.
Then again, why the hell would she die for that movie? It's not like that... X2's gonna stay there for hell eternity.
I wish there's someone out there who'll snap the hell out of it and open her mind. It's soooo hard to lecture her.
Show this thread to her? Gods, she's a sucker in internet-surfing. She learned animelyrics.com not long ago *sweatdrop*.
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Post by Garnet17th on May 25, 2003 12:58:10 GMT -5
well your friend sounds like my X-bestfriend...She thinks everything she wants, she gets. That included men. she even flirts with my older brother who's 20!! God! she has a serious problem!
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Post by Chibiwonton on May 25, 2003 17:37:05 GMT -5
the way i see it is, there isn't really a wrong person. You friend might be just hurt since she looked up into seeing the movie so much, and all of a sudden, plans were cancelled. I don't blame you for not going with her, because you can't help how you feel. And if you feel sorta awkward just going out with one person, then your friend should've accepted your way of thinking and show some empathy. Getting mad at you isn't really what she should be doing, but i guess she was just too surprised since she was looking forward to going to see X2. Then again, it isn't anyone's fault. Maybe try talking to her again and tell her how you feel? if she's a real friend, she will understand and watch the movie with you again next week.
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Post by Garnet17th on May 25, 2003 18:39:39 GMT -5
Chibiwonton is right.
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Post by Chibiwonton on May 25, 2003 21:00:52 GMT -5
hehe but i do hope that your friend won't be too upset or something, fuuko-san.
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Post by M-Chan on May 25, 2003 21:27:39 GMT -5
yea i agree with wonton...
but also, if you ever decide to turn bitchy, don't sink to the point of her level...
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